I follow a social media page where the question was asked, “should you cut toxic parents out of your life?” I left a comment but I wanted to touch on that here to encourage anyone going through this.
Now I told you, I’m an open book, very transparent, and I can’t do anything but keep it real. Let me share with you a few of my pages. I’ve dealt with a toxic mother for years, a lot of my family & friends didn’t know what I was going through because I bottled everything up. I’m the oldest child & I took on all the abuse because I’d rather take it on rather than to have my siblings experience what was happening to me.
I am my brothers/sister keeper. Now in this instance, it was hard to distance myself and cut my mother off because I needed to protect my siblings, however, I spoke up vocally. As I got older, I learned to use my voice & let her know what she was doing to me was wrong.
Regardless if she heard me or not, accepted it or not, I put it out there. At one point I remember telling her that she would need me one day & one day came. My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer & I became one of her caretakers until the day of her passing. She never did apologize, but at that point, I didn’t need it because I knew in my heart that my words came back & resonated in her ears.
The only regret that I have from this situation is not being able to heal our relationship and receive the answer to, why was i treated this way? I am however, grateful for having the opportunity to let her know how it affected me growing up.
I have also dealt with toxic in-laws. Let’s be real, a lot of us do. Some can handle it, some can’t. I mean I’ve been lied on, my husband has been lied on, talked about, you name it! It took me a long time to stop letting it stress me out.
I had to realize and understand that misery loves company & as long as you entertain, they’ll continue to perform. You’re not hear to please people, you didn’t marry the family (some really think you did lol), you married the man or woman you love & nothing gets in between that!
When dealing with a toxic individual, whether it be family, friends, associates, etc, cut them off when you can, distance yourself, when you can’t, speak up and inform the person(s) of how their behavior is affecting you, and most importantly give yourself the peace that you need & walk away.
There’s no rule stating that you must deal with this. Toxic people are like a disease slowing eating away at you. Cut that disease out before it encompasses your entire being. You don’t owe anyone an explanation of why. I’m tired of hearing, but that’s your mom, dad, sister, brother, cousin, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew. WHO CARES! If they’re toxic, they’ve got to go!!
Like I always say, your mental health means so much more than being involved in someone’s drama due to their own unhappiness. Truthfully that’s all it is. They’re unhappy, need healing from their traumas and hurt, and need to transfer that energy to someone else.
Don’t let it be you! And let me add, if you have friends or family that associate themselves with the people that have hurt you, baby, you better watch them too!
I could go on about this topic forever, I’ve been through some stuff y’all! I can honestly say, that going through it was one of my biggest test & I finally passed. I’m at the point where I don’t care what’s said, done, or lied about, because I’m free from the drama!
It’s time for you to get free too. It’s up to you to stop it. You are the controlling authority. You can either entertain or turn the channel. You decide.
I exercise my right to establish personal boundaries, drama and toxic people are not welcomed here.
Until Next Time ♥️